Mostly about manners, but a bit rambling

I'm aware this is only semi-coherent but I kind of can't be bothered.  There's a point in there somewhere.

So I realized the other day that I do something that may or may not be weird.  I was checking out at a store and my total was $1.79 but all I had with me was a $20 bill, so as I handed it to the cashier I said "Sorry."  And this is not a singular occurrence.  If I don't have money in a close enough denomination I feel like I've inconvenienced them in some way and need to apologize.

Now, I used to be really bad about saying "sorry" for every little thing.  One time, someone almost dropped a speaker on me and as I jumped out of the way, I apologized.  I think part of the problem is the English language just puts double duty on "sorry."  I mean Spanish has "lo siento" (sorry - I feel your pain) and "perdon" (sorry - I apologize, it was my fault).  Because that's one of my pet peeves.  You express a tale of woe to me, I commiserate and say "I'm sorry" and you come back with "Why?  It's not your fault."  Well, thank you for exonerating me, but I wasn't actually taking the blame.  I was being polite.

Sometimes I think I can be a bit elitist and politeness.  I am by no means a paramount of etiquette.  I don't routinely bring a host gift or anything like that, but I am kind of a stickler for politeness.  I always say "please" and "thank you" to waiters at restaurants, I smile and say hello to people I walk past if they make eye contact, I walk people to the door when they leave my house.  Simple things.  Which is why I can get a bit judgmental when people don't do those things.*

To be fair, I also judge myself.  If I don't do one of those things, I scold myself mentally because I definitely know better.  And if lots of other people don't do something I think is common-sense politeness I'll take a poll of my family and friends to see if it's just me over-reacting.  I do think a lot of it comes down to upbringing.  My mom is very into the whole Southern Belle kind of ideal and one summer she had my siblings and I learn one rule of etiquette every day out of this huge Emily Post** book.  (One of the stereotypes of the South is that everyone is super polite.)  The last time I flew out of LAX they had to re-scan and search my carry-on*** which took about 10 minutes and afterward the TSA guy asked me if I was from the South.  I can only assume this was because I was polite and laid-back since I don't have an accent (unless I'm sleepy or sometimes angry).

I feel it's only fair to add the caveat I was only so laid-back because I was 4 hours early for my flight (but that's a story for another day).  I'm ordinarily a bundle of nerves until I actually get to my gate because I have an almost pathological fear of being late.



*The saying hi when eye contact is made is more of a personal thing that stems from the fact that I used to be cripplingly shy.  Greeting every stranger you pass is a great method of forcing yourself out of your shell in a fairly low risk way.

**It's to manners what Barlett's is to quotations or Webster's is to dictionaries.

***Apparently, a lot of books looks really suspicious on the x-ray.  Random.